March 16, 2017

March 16, 2017

Becomes oldest freshman in the NCAA Division I Men’s Basketball Tournament of Unpaid Champions to be dubbed a “diaper dandy” by ESPN cyborg Dick Vitale. Immediately inks sponsorship deal with Depends adult undergarments and is expelled from the proceedings for...

March 9, 2017

Escapes with mild chafing from 3-D printed undergarments thanks to a permanently traumatized jaws-of-life operator from the Omaha Fire Department....
March 3, 2017

March 3, 2017

Redeems $197.67 in unused Amazon Pantry credits to gift Hugh “The Rheumatic Wolverine” Jackman a subscription for Icy Hot....

February 24, 2017

Bars the “Omaha World Herald” from tossing the free Super Saver coupons onto driveway lest the homestead be tainted by “fake savings.”...
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