December 16, 2019

December 9, 2019

Banned from spectating at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics and 2022 World Cup for “systemic, systematic abuse of performance-enhancing hair...
December 16, 2019

November 7, 2019

Attempts to rid mind of the news that Queen Elizabeth II would “rather go naked than wear fur” using a rubber mallet, Robitussin, and the “Best of Floyd” collection from “The Andy Griffith Show” on...
December 16, 2019

November 5, 2019

Denied by the Nebraska Secretary of State to form a 263-member “self-partnership” intent on distributing knock-off “Harold Terracotta” figurines that look suspiciously like Precious Moments statues that were attacked with...
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