by Jason Fox | Nov 7, 2019 | Bio |
Attempts to rid mind of the news that Queen Elizabeth II would “rather go naked than wear fur” using a rubber mallet, Robitussin, and the “Best of Floyd” collection from “The Andy Griffith Show” on VHS.
by Jason Fox | Nov 5, 2019 | Bio |
Denied by the Nebraska Secretary of State to form a 263-member “self-partnership” intent on distributing knock-off “Harold Terracotta” figurines that look suspiciously like Precious Moments statues that were attacked with Sharpies.
by Jason Fox | Nov 1, 2019 | Bio |
Learns that “Beto” is Spanish for “Tooly McToolface.”
by Jason Fox | Oct 30, 2019 | Bio |
Duly impressed when the Washington Nationals win Game 7 of the World Series over the Houston Astros behind a strong relief effort by knuckleballing octogenarian/political puppet master George Soros.
by Jason Fox | Oct 13, 2019 | Bio |
While tearfully giving up dream of becoming the most decorated female gymnast ever, is encouraged to receive the most powerful eyeroll given to a husband in the history of marital disapproving looks.
by Jason Fox | Oct 9, 2019 | Bio |
Spends morning picking up own gray matter after learning a Nobel Prize recipient and bona fide science guy is for realz named “John B. Goodenough.”
